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♥Shades of Black♥

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Tears Are Salty... [03 Nov 2006|08:34am]
[ mood | !!!!OVERLOADED!!!! ]

I hate when life seems to pull a 180 on me just to prove a point.
Once again I don't seem to be as over about it as I think I am...funny though...I was SOOO convinced I was stronger than my past I let it consume me wholly into a false reality.
Just because I've learned from my mistakes, doesn't necessarily mean I'm healed from the experience; and honestly..I don't think I ever will be.
For anybody out there that seems offended when I make jokes about "relationship status'" it's because I care and I'm worried.It may come across as a joke but I truly am concerned for your well-being.People can bend backwards like a chinese contortionist and whip you just as hard(not the best description but I hope you get the point).
My self experiences teach me things that lots of my friends to my knowledge don't seem to learn from!That alone gives me enough anxiety in itself.
Maybe it's just me or some other reason that I don't seem to have listed right now, but relationships are 90% of the time FRAUD in the teenage era.All horomones!!!W/e....I'm done talking about this for now, because you know what..IT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY SORT OF A DIFFERENCE.
Sure!People may ACTUALLY read this but the chance of somebody considering my words somewhat sensible are a million to one.Most likely you're wondering what the fuck happened!THAT'S PERSONAL AND IF YOU'D STOP BEING NOSEY FOR ONE SECOND YOU MAY ACTUALLY WANT TO SMACK YOURSELF FOR ASKING THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
Curiousity kills more than cats..it reveals the people who TRULY care about you and don't just want another weeks worth of gossip.

{{2 ::}}

OMG!!!!! [10 Jul 2006|05:34pm]
[ mood | GIDDY AS FUCK! ]
[ music | Fan in the bkg ]

I GOTS A LAPTOP!!!!XD
I'm so effin' giddy I can't contain myself!!!!!!!!^0^

                     
{{8 ::}}

Reminiscing [16 May 2006|12:10am]
[ mood | emotionally drained. ]
[ music | Sakura's - You Are My Love ]

I can't just shake this feeling that I'm not really recovering.
For the past week I've been puking my guts out,overthinking situations,unable to sleep,and feel as if things are only going to go downhill from here.
I allowed myself to be put into a vunerable position and became pissed/angry/sad(overall boundlessly upset).
Saturday my feelings were everywhere,I began to have a goed day and from then on it slowly became worse and worse.I eventually lashed out on my physical appearence(to no surprise) and let every little thing aggitate me.
I'm unhappy and I have no way of releasing any of that.
All I've done lately is sleep in.It's become bothersome to my schedule and I've missed school multiple times.Sure I may seem fine at times,but just those moments where I plummet are a reoccuring sign that I'm not getting the proper help that I need.
Grant it I'm not trying my best to ignore help,but from my experience my therapists don't seem to find me,as a paitient, a priority.I've called and left messaegs(for godsake MY MUMS called),but there's never a reply for a scheduling.WTF KINDA SYSTEM IS KAISER RUNNING HERE?!?!?!
W/e...I should be getting to bed(or at least attempt).
And what's flustering me the MOST is that I should've gone to the gym,but I didn't...so now I've even avoided having to do crunches.How much more fucking lazy can I get?!?!?!
-_- ::sighs::

}}

Do I really hate... [05 Apr 2006|02:00am]
[ mood | depressive relapse ]

what I've become?

*sighs*
I don't understand it.I chose my path but why NOW of all times have I begun to regret all of this.Maybe it's just another episode...but I'm starting to miss things that can never return.
UGH!
DAMNIT!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!XO
o>O<o ::cries:: I HATE THIS! *stomps* WHY?!WHY?!WHY?!

{{4 ::}}

FUCKIN' RUDE!!!! [27 Mar 2006|07:21pm]
[ mood | FUCKIN' PISSED&ANNOYED!!!!!!! ]

In an attempt to find out information about a vehicle that is safe and reliable..Here's the cut to review

<b>Me:</b>
I'm in search of a safe and reliable vehicle, but my budget is to $2000.My mother is completely against the idea of getting a car other than a Volvo since I got my license.My father on the other hand is willing to by one with his vacation money since it's quite the necessity for teenagers these days(having to take night school and all).They have discussed it and my mother isn't fond of the idea,but is going to allow a purchase.I've been researching and found the Honda Accord '94.I wanted to know what the best cars are BESIDES the old model volvos,since what I'm looking for is a smaller and more modern look of a car. Thank you for your time and I KNOW your opinion/advice will give my mother great confidence and comfort in the purchase of my first car.

{{3 ::}}

*LICENSE TEST* [09 Mar 2006|10:52pm]
[ mood | !!!!w00t!!!!XD ]

{{9 ::}}

Thinking... [06 Feb 2006|10:22pm]
[ mood | happy =D ]
[ music | Everlasting - BoA ]

So many things have changed in my life..I just can never seem to keep up with the times.Today was esspecially happy,but I know things aren't always bad..it's just nice to have that day full of complete glow.I just have so much to say,yet I'm too lazy to type it all.Lol ^-^ Oh well.

{{1 ::}}

PROMO BEEOTCH! [23 Jan 2006|10:14pm]
Come join [info]exotique_chic where only the gorgeous survive.
{{2 ::}}

Meh [16 Jan 2006|10:38pm]
[ mood | fat-fatty-ugly-EWBLEK! ]

I know I haven't been very active on being up-to-date on my lj postings;but I haven't really had the time or thought to post.So for the most part...I just made a new layout<3ENJOY!

{{3 ::}}

Startin the New Year Off With'a BANG! [01 Jan 2006|11:12pm]
[ mood | GAH!FOOD BINGE!!!X_x ]
[ music | Elfen Lied - Lilium ]

Dolly's New Year Advice:


"FUCK REVOLUTIONS! If you're an American and you're fat...you're American,SO FACE IT!!!!DIETS JUST DON'T WORK FOR YA!" --- "If you're a fat fuck;then be PROUD to be the fat fuck that you are!"


"Better yourself?How about FIRST ya get off yur lazy ass and throw down that bucket-O-chicken wings!" Xp


"What's with these damn lists..by mid-january they'll be LONG LOST in that pile of mail,bills,and print outs!"


...want more?*Just ask!* OM GAH!!SO SIMPLE!
_________________________________________

One year prior I'd made this entry.And for the most part stickin' with it out of traditional sense.WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

HAPPY FUCKIN NEW YEAR!

{{6 ::}}

"Virgin State Of Mind" [27 Dec 2005|05:21am]
[ mood | nauseated ]
[ music | Virgin State Of Mind - K's Choice ]

There's a chair in my head on which I used to sit
Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it

Now there's a key where my wonderful mouth used to be
Dig it up, throw it at me
Dig it up, throw it at me

Where can I run to, where can I hide
Who will I turn to now I'm in a virgin state of mind

Got a knife to disengage the voids that I can't bear
To cut out words I've got written on my chair

Like do you think I'm sexy
Do you think I really care

Can I burn the mazes I grow
Can I, I don't think so

Can I burn the mazes I grow
Can I, I don't think so

Where can I run to, where can I hide
Who will I turn to now I'm in a virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind
Virgin state of mind

}}

*HAPPY BABY JESUS DAY* [25 Dec 2005|03:27am]
[ mood | shleepy..SHOO shleepy =_= ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
MWAH!An artistic original from yours truely!<3^-^

{{2 ::}}

[24 Dec 2005|02:20pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | Techno Tetris ]

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS? )

{{1 ::}}

PROMO!^-^ [17 Dec 2005|05:47pm]

♥Many active members
♥Themes
♥Contests
♥10+ Entries Daily
♥Scavenger Hunts
♥Points System
♥Member of the Month
♥Much More...
Join [info]_simply_beauty Today!
{{3 ::}}

Highlight of the Evening [17 Dec 2005|01:12am]
[ mood | tee hee giggle ]

Place: Mimi's Cafe
Time: about 7pm
Date: December 16,2005

Waitress: Would you two like anything else?(speaking to Andy and Lauren)
Lauren: If you could bring some take-out containers.
Waitress: Alright.And you girls don't need anything?(Speaking to Ryan and me)*waitress walks away after I shake my head*
...brief normal moment...
Lauren: Ryan,she just called you a GIRL!
*Everyone busts up laughing*

Poor waitress really didn't know Ryan was a guy with the hair and him wearing my pink scarf =( It's okay though..the day had been going crappily anywho and that just made it better<3
MWAH!I suppose it explains my relationship with Ryan Xp J/King!!!!!!!I LUFFLES JOO RYAN!!!BECAUSE you're a guy~*^-^ MY guy<3

{{7 ::}}

^-^ *~♥I feels specifulls!♥~*^-^ [11 Dec 2005|01:02am]
[ mood | X_x shleepeh. ]


How Many People Think That You\'re Sexy?
First Name
Desired "Sexy" Name
Age
Gender
How Many People Think You're Sexy-O-Meter - 91%
This fun quiz by BooOnYouTimesTwo - Taken 125437 Times.
</a>
Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

}}

My new quote... [05 Dec 2005|12:19am]
[ mood | Meh thinks! ]

^0^!NEW QUOTE!^0^ )

{{4 ::}}

*PLEASE* [03 Dec 2005|01:14pm]
[ mood | verge of a mental breakdown ]
[ music | RHCP - Under The Bridge ]

Now I'm not one to pray,but I love my wifey with all my heart..and she's not doing too well as of late.So if you could PLEASE keep her in mind in your prayers I'd be greatly appriciative.

{{1 ::}}

TOFURKEY DAY!!!XP EWW!! [24 Nov 2005|03:58am]
[ mood | O.O X_x ]


GOBBLE GOBBLE!WOBBLE WOBBLE!IMMA TURKEY!^0^ BUT PLEASE DON'T EAT ME OR I WILL CEASE TO DANCE MY HAPPY DANCE ='(


P.S-

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

{{6 ::}}

OMG!HOW HORRID!X_x [22 Nov 2005|11:39am]
[ mood | X_x Dolly beh bleky @.@ ]
[ music | - - - - - - - ]

Okay so there's this quiz that our school passes out EVERY year around this time that helps fundraise for ASB to distribute the money paid for results.It's this "Match Maker" quiz.
FIRST OFF: The results are of ONLY the opposite sex & same grade
SECOND:The answers and questions they give you are COMPLETELY shallow and egotistically repulsive.

It's horrible the laugh we get out of what these people pass as "approriate" answer choices.

Examples: )

{{8 ::}}

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